NOW PLAYING-
 LOVE'S THEME-BARRY WHITE
The Sultan of Soul has spoken...and Barry's pretty swingin' too!
PIC BY KITTEN
The Ego Has Land-Ed!
It's been almost 3 years since me and my right
hand men Ed and Double D catapulted onto
your unsuspecting TV sets-and boy, its been
one long lip-smackin', super-schmoozin, hip-jivin'
swingathon(g) all the way-But ya gotta
admit boys and
girls (Especially you girls! he-he-he!)that
it wouldn't have been HALF the ogle-fest it is
without yours truly getting his groove on
and gracing your unworthy screens with my
Hollywood good looks and black magic charm!
 
Sure,sure, Ed's loveable with that
"I-have-one-eyebrow-and-the-brain-of-a-bug" thing he's got going on.
And much against the snap, crackle
and pop of what makes a cat cool, you gals go
weak at the knees for "oh-dear-I-have-a-sock
-for-a-head-and-a-diving-board-for-a-chin"
Double Knock-Knee...That's another thing,
what the heck do you ladies SEE in Double D?!?
Why the big attraction to his googly eyes
and that dying giraffe voice of his?!?...uh...ladies?...o-kay, I'm losin' you...
Anyhoo, back onto the coup de grease!-ME!
Now let's talk CASH! You know it, you love
it, you can't LIVE without it, Cash is the
second wheel of the Earth (Cos lurvin' ALWAYS
goes first, bay-bee!) and in our little corner
of the galaxy it spins with a certain
seduction. Y'see, there's us-Me,Sockhead and Lumpy-and then there's the pigeons,
our fellow
cul-de-sac kids. And these pigeons, my friend,
have oodles of cash to splash out on the
best thing since The Lava Lamp-Jawbreakers! They're our no1 candy;
PIC BY RACH
A) because obviously, they taste better
(or so Burrhead said)
b) If you take the hippest dream or the
sweetest taste and times it by 100,
you still got miles to jog, mon amigo!
c) for a quarter, you get not one, not two,
but FIVE slurp-tastic jawbreakers to
swish around your laughing tackle
to your heart's content!
"How Do you love me? Let Edd count the ways..."
We spend alot of our summer-lovin' days trying to scam these said pigeons so we
can peg it down to the candyshop and get ourselves a royal gobful of
grooviness before it closes! Man, if only candyshops where 24/7, that'd be cookin'!
Yeah, okay, you got me! I gotta admit that
some things we've done have been a bit paperbag worthy (That's putting it mildly, Eddy!-Edd)
But on the majority, even if we don't score
that all-important 25c we have a pretty cool
time trying! What with the Friends-For-Life
disco, that was a hoot! Don't forget the swampride,
and Ed-Land, and taking pictures
of the cul-de-sac kids, that was a
holler, bay-bay!
If I was to venture to guess, I'd say alot
of my appeal towards the opposite sex comes
from my need to be different. You won't
find any europop or hiphop in my Record
collection, chief! No-way jose, you'll be confronted with the
unavoidable glare of
70's soul and Croonin' coolness! The 60's
and 80's? Phththt! What a wild card they
were compared to the 10 great years slotted
in between them! You won't hear Barry White
singing "I Should Be So Lucky With My Rubber Duckie!"
or whatever that blonde Aussie
chick sings.
And oh-check out the threads
in "Dear Ed"
That I'm donnin' in the disco!
Y'see, guys were GUYS in the 70's, an' if
you wanna top-notch song that best fits me,
check out "High-Steppin' Hip Dressin' Fella"
by the Love Unlimited Orchestra-I think the
title says it all, ladies! ^.^
(Eddy, for
the sake of the I and Me Freud theory...
and females everywhere...get over yourself!-Edd)
PIC BY RACH
Forever and an Edd
Without Double D, the truth is, alot of our scams
just wouldn't happen! He truly is the brains
of the outfit and I gotta hand it to the guy!
He's a genius! If you wanna learn more about my
annoyingly moral friend and what makes him tick,
go check out his personal and highly sanitary page, baybee!
(Hah! like you'd seriously be able to pry yourself from
me...ur...heh?...um....hello?...)
 
Braind-ed
PLEEEEEEEEEZ don't get me started on lumpy!
I'll be here all nite! What can I say?!? We're pals and everything but
you gotta admit, the guy is a
picnic short of a sandwich when it
comes to scams.I mean, it just seems to be becoming
an endless pattern of:
1) We want jawbreakers
2) Double D gets the brainmatter going
3) I'm the pretty-boy of the outfit so naturally
I whip out the charisma and get those pigeons
cooin'
4) Everything's going fine and dandy and
them WALLOP! Chowderhead pulls a lasagna
or something and it all comes crashing down!
Even his imaginary friends seem to be in
on the gag! He even sent everything for
a burden when me and Double D tried to
glitz him up a bit and get him some
street-cred.guess coolness should be
left to the experts like Moi!
On the plus side, Ed is super-strong!
He just bounces back! You could drive
slowly over his eyebrow with a steamroller
and he'd probably come out with something stupid like " Don't skip on the starch!"
AARGH!!!
Which reminds me! If you see Lee Kanker
Around, tell her I've moved to Outer Mongolia
and no-one's heard from me since! Hah!
That'll get her off my...hang on, she
could be reading this right...uh oh!
Eddy Linkin' Good-Fave Links!
Tom Jones-Official Website
EDDY:Here you'll find everything you need to know about the welsh warbler, You're in the presence of royalty, bub...oh and, check out this website! !
F U N K Y - S T U F F - James Brown HomepageEDDY: Get your keester to the official homepage of the
Sex Machine himself-no, not me, ladies! James might be getting
on a bit, but here's where you'll find the resume,
history and discology of him and other Soul greats!
As Seen On Screen!
EDDY: Want that shirt Leo's catching the rays in in
'The Beach'? Or Does that Bad Mother of a wallet from
Pulp fiction catch your fancy? Then look no further for
clothes from your fave movies and TV shows!
Snot.Com
Eddy:It's vile, sick, putrid and disgusting-pure genius!it's right under
your nose - cartoons, humor and bizarre pictures!
Farts.com
Edd:This growing Web community exalts the art of flatulence. Rip through
its collection of jokes, audio files, consumer products
and diet tips...so unsanitary!
Idiot.com! !
Eddy: Click the link to find out how to entertain an idiot...Go get it, Ed! :
Beavis And Butthead On-line
EDDY: These guys took MTV by storm and had yers screaming for more (wow, sounds like me! he-he-he-he-he!!) here's where you can get Episode guides and air times, links to web sites and the National Beavis Association.::DOES BEST BUTTHEAD VOICE:: hur-hur-hur-hur! He said As-
EDD: don't even go there, Eddy!
Figleaf.Com
Eddy: Oh
yeah, baby back to reality! The finer things in life are
found here with frilly little numbers for the special laydey
in your life...down boy! (Link deactivated:You're on thin ice, mister!-Edd)
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